I can do this. 

& this is why I can never believe when someone 'loves' me.  

18032014 - Canteen Day

Sometimes I just hate being a perfectionist - I find so many things or characteristics that I'm not, then get angry at myself for not being like that. I get angry at myself because I'm not pretty, because I'm not creative, because I'm not like-able, and I get angry, angry, angry at myself. I'm get angry at myself because I try so hard at everything I do and I still suck. I try so hard and there are always still people better, effortlessly. Don't get me wrong - I don't hate myself. But I inflict so much anger, dissatisfaction at myself that it almost feels that way. 

I'm so tired

Funny how I find so much joy in preparing gifts or surprises which would bring joy to others. 

Happy :)

I want to run, run and run until my breath gets heavy and until I can't breathe and run until I can't think anymore and then keep running cause I can't stop and the temporary feeling of not feeling the tense in my shoulders, the swirl in my head, because I savor the ache in my knees, calves, just to relieve the unease in my head. 

But I can't keep running forever

Really want to update so many things here but simply don't have the time to. Then again, there's so many other things I want to do as well - read, run, watch a bunch of series. Can't imagine how it'll be like when I get to college, then uni, then whatever lies beyond that. 

I'll be back