I seem to have taken being one of the top students in high school for granted. 2 and a half months into college now and I realized that being considered smart in school was nothing. Now in college, being surrounded by students who scored not only straight A's (that being a norm already), but several of them scoring straight A+s, the pressure is so so darn high.

Guess what? I am considered wayyy below average in college now. Surprise isn't it? To be very honest, it hurt my ego so, so bad. Every time a teacher talks about a topic - I blink because I don't understand a thing, turn to my friends expecting them to do the same; only to see them nod in understanding to whatever the teacher had just said. I thought learning 4 subjects in college would be a piece of cake compared to juggling 10 subjects in school - but I was so very wrong. Maths and addmaths were my pride and joy in school, but now it is probably the subject that I am struggling with the most (and it's only the beginning) (and i'm not even taking further maths)

I also joined this ALSTAR thing (a level student ambassador) and somehow found myself elected as the vice president for the student council. So far... it isn't what I expected at all, comparing it to the prefectorial board that I miss so much. But we'll see how it goes.

I know, I know. College is supposed to be one the best times of someone's life, but it really isn't what I expected at all and I know I'm being a little whine. I miss school so much, but I realize now that school was such a little pond and now being throw in this ocean, I am so very scared, so very lost, and feeling so very little.